Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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