I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
