sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
