hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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