You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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