brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
