The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
