I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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