I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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