I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
