We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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