I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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