Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
