Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
