i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
