It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
