from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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