My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
