goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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