There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
