dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
