I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
