so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
