Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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