i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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