good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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