I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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