i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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