Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
