playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
