I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
