Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
