let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
