You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
