Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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