So drunk its hurt
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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