its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
