i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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