Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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