there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
