im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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