That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
