You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
