I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
