forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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