I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
