Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
