Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
