everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
