are you still at the devil's house?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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