He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
