I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
