she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
