apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
