he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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