It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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