He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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