i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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