fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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