remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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