im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
