Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
