I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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