i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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