I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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