Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have grass duct taped all over my body
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
