Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Boobs speak an international language.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
