I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
