haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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